A man from our recent vacation. He was on a beach. Or more specifically bobbing in the ocean with his friend. She was complaining about a friend who did her wrong. The man was telling her how she needed to forgive. Otherwise it would eat away at her. Then it led into a little rant about sin:
“See this beach? It’s full of sin. So much sin on this beach. Everywhere you look: sin.”
Then he gets specific.
“That woman—she looks angelic. But she’s full of sin.”
He was talking about me. I know because I looked angelic. But also because I was wearing sunglasses and looking right at him so I could see him gesturing to me. Me and my overflowing sin.
Conversations With Friends by Sally Rooney.
It’s a story about two friends who get intertwined with an older married couple. But it’s also quite simply about the breakdown and rebuilding of a friendship. I found it useful as I’ve continued to process a friendship ending in my life. The one character takes the brave step of writing her friend a letter and posing the question: “Can we make something new out of our friendship?”
It occurred to me that we have to bring creativity into our platonic friendships to keep making them new—the way we might in a marriage or romantic partnership where we more easily accept the need for reinvention. Why not in platonic friendship as well?
A mélange of items. On the beach it’s angelic pieces. In the garden, it’s weeding attire. My farm clothes in general are more a collection of materials to just…cover my skin.'s farm ensemble is more specific: navy pants on which he has patched a hole with a heart patch using Violet’s sewing machine, a grey shirt and my mom’s boots. Frankly, it’s kind of hot in an I’M DEFINITELY NOT TRYING way. It’s also exciting to see what he will do in that ensemble. Like he could do anything. Grab a plank of wood. Dig a hole. Plant a tree. Rig a structure to grow hops. We get a bit random on the farm, following our whims, shaping the land a little bit at a time. It sounds idyllic, right?
So what’s with you guys not mowing? the neighbour calls out.
Oh, um, we leave part of it long for aesthetics. We like the wild look.
Some people don’t like that look. Simon, Simon, Simon, why don’t you finish the job?”
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I guess the man is right.....this beach is full of sin. Amazing God tell the water how far to go ashore. Like the different relationships....you could observe one; taking note as we are all on the beach. A friend could amend a broken one and a neighbor can make a comment worth noting. Proximity makes the difference in our relationship.
“I know because I looked angelic.” 😂
I often try to make things new without the involvement of the other party.
“Can we make something new out of this relationship?” requires a level of vulnerability I’m rarely prepared to offer. What if they say no? What if they think I’m ‘the problem’ and I’m the one who needs to be new!? (I mean, I’ll know it’s really them but I’ll still have to navigate the situation 😉)
Fashion Forward Farming. Your next book. Farming Forward Fashion could also work.