The error of my ways.

Plus a party!!

The lines of traffic. My mom and I are driving 6 hours to receive an appliance delivery at our farm. Just as we were setting off they call to say they are already there.

“Oh,” I say calmly. “Can you use the lockbox to get in?”

“It’s up you,” he replies.

“I consent.”

My mom looks over at me her eyes wide, “You’re so calm!”

I shrug.

Three hours later we open the doors of the new fridge.

“Where are the shelves?” I ask.

My mom and I scour the inside of the fridge for the missing shelves.

“What kind of design is this?” I say quickly going from calm to enraged. “Is it missing shelves or is this a design failure? An ‘I don’t care fridge design’ because it’s not the most expensive model?”

(It feels right to lean into my outrage around the design after being so calm in the car. Balance.)

My mom heats up vegetable soup. She can tell this moment is going to need food.

“I don’t understand this fridge design. Who would do this?” I complain to the woman at Frigidaire.

“Okay,” she says, supremely bored. “Is there more?”

“There’s more…yes. Fine, no that’s it. So now what?”

“Can you tell me the exact location of the missing shelves?”

I stand up to examine the door.

“Well, the top, middle and bottom of the door. Everywhere. The whole door. It’s a fridge. Fridges needs shelves!”

I feel myself leaning into my rage. I’m self-righteous. I know how things should be done.

“Can you take a picture?” she asks. “So we can send you the right kind of shelf.”

SIGH.

“Actually wait, are you from Canada?"‘

“Yes.”

“I have to transfer you to Canada. You called the US number.”

Her Canadian counterpart is less helpful. I point that out. She tells me to call Best Buy because Frigidaire can’t help until 48 hours have passed.

Beyond. The. Pale.

We’re back at the farm. We’ve plugged in the fridge. I show everyone the empty door.

“See, no shelves. Disgusting. But don’t worry, I solved it by leaning on my righteous rage.”

I watch eyes glaze over.

“What’s that?” Elsie says pointing to a package on the kitchen table.

“Oh that’s…”

I cut into the package. It’s the missing shelves that have been there all along.

“These are…the shelves. But look how they were packaged! So deceptively.”

Elsie looks at me straight faced, “Burn.”

This dress to my fundraise gala.

Do you want to come? Our friend Jackie is hosting it on our behalf. In a costume stylist’s cotton candy coloured studio in the east end. With a candy station. And chicken skewers. And wine.

We are raising money for a short film that Natalie and I wrote, which is funny examination of the tv and film world, but which also extends to other fields where women feel they are not getting ahead at the same rates. This year at Cannes still only 20% of the films in competition were made by women. It’s an industry problem that we are still facing. So we appreciate our community helping us.

Please come or donate at theassistantfilm@yahoo.com. We appreciate you!

Party is this Wednesday in Toronto.