Observables #8

on turning 41 and our last days of summer

The Ezra Klein podcast with Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, whose book The Body Keeps the Score has had a resurgence during the pandemic. It’s such an excellent and informative listen about how trauma changes the body and the brain. Van der Kolk says he wishes learning how to regulate oneself was a bigger part of the school curriculum. I notice that I am often asking Violet about her moods (which is a start), but even better would be to help her find rhythmic activities that she could do to feel more in control and perhaps dislodge something in her body. I’m thinking bring back the tango I learned in theatre school.

And the research question Van der Kolk wishes we could focus on as a society (instead of more drug therapies): “How can we increase people’s sense of synchronicity with other human beings?” Isn’t that beautiful?

The Devil Wears Prada because we were looking for something to watch as a family that was PG-13. I vaguely remembered it having some female empowerment themes although my brother-in-law warned us that we might be disappointed by those “themes” this many years later. He was right. The celebration of skinniness in the movie is horrific and when Anne Hathaway’s character corrects her friend about her weight victory (being a size four now instead of a six), I desperately turned to Elsie: “This is her dark night of the soul moment, right?”

The other thing I got to watch in these last days of summer: Violet and Frankie engaged in a 72 hour ongoing story, using sticks as people, or Lego, or whatever else they can get their hands on to keep the story going. Also alternating jokes and yelling at the seagulls one after another, “We don’t even know you!” Their down time was playing the exact same game on their tablets side by side. They are a mesmerizing team and I am so not going to be the one to tell them they can’t get married.

This new blouse

while holding this stack of bowls

while simultaneously stroking my face with this jade roller.

—all things I specifically requested for my birthday. The blouse: because I was attracted to the colours. The bowls: because from now on we only do bowl meals (rice bowls, buddha bowls, noodle bowls, salad bowls)—something has to change this fall. The jade roller: because when you’re 41 your face needs stimulating. Also, just for notice (as my daughter says), I ate a bee on the weekend. I did manage to spit it out, but not before it got my tongue. My sister, who does all things for me, picked the stinger out of my tongue flesh. Nature will not be tamed, but my sister will always be there for me.

Speaking of sisters. Have you listened to our podcast Sister On! yet? The episodes are available on Spotify or Apple podcasts. This week we’re doing a contest! If you subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, we will enter you into a draw to receive a $100 gift card for the small business of your choosing! Winner announced in my next Observables—3 p.m. EST on Tuesday, September 14. Please participate and spread the word!