Observables #60

on peppers that kill, saving ducks and the show Bear

My beating heart.

A friend gave me a few bags of peppers. I thought that’s a lot of peppers! Surely they would go great in a roasted red pepper soup and I would become my sister for a minute “using what I have on hand.” (Listen to our episode with Chef Sang for how much she loves using what’s in her fridge!)

I throw the peppers in the oven to roast, working at a pace because there’s a piano lesson on the horizon and Simon is away.

I have a look in the oven. Wow, those have sure puffed up fast—not a bell pepper’s usual cooking time. Maybe it’s a different variety? I pop one in my mouth to see what variety.

Immediately, I know I’ve done something wrong. My mouth is on fire. Is this the pre-cursor to death? Real thought. I start shovelling yogurt into my mouth to ease the pain. Yogurt then a swish of water then more yogurt.

This is NOT what eating a scotch bonnet pepper feels like.

At this point the pain has hit my stomach. Also, my tongue is getting thicker. I start burping and have to lie down on the kitchen floor. I go to the bathroom. I come back out of the bathroom. I try squatting. I’m back on the floor. The clock is ticking because Violet has to go to piano. She’s calling down the stairs,

“I’m hungry? Can I have some dinner?”

No, I think, that’s not going to be possible.

15 minutes later where all I have done is thrash (and make toast), I manage to usher us out to the car with piano books in hand. I feel like I’m having a baby and definitely concerned about how I will drive. I text my mom who says, “That sounds bad, but I’m going for a walk with my new poles. Gotta go.”

My sister says, “Was it the red peppers from our friend? Oh my god, I think you ate a whole scotch bonnet pepper! I’m teaching. I gotta go.”

Simon doesn’t answer.

Alone in the world, I writhe and drive because you really can do anything for your children’s musical journey. When I take a strange left turn and wind up on a meandering route, Violet muses,

“Are we going the good way or the bad way?”

“I’m not sure,” I say. “But can I tell you about the pepper I just ate?” Cue BURP.

“Whoa,” she’s sounds genuinely concerned, which I appreciate. “It’s okay that you ate my yogurt.”

While she’s in her lesson, I try to go for a walk, but turns out I’m not going to “walk this off.” So I sit. On the cement. At Lansdowne and Bloor where anything goes, which I appreciate very much. When I realize sitting is also coming to its end and I need to be prone, I hobble back to my car. I’m now wondering how this pepper saga will end because it must…end.

I start the car and drive for twenty seconds before I have to pull over to wretch. Many times. I am so sad for the person who was out for their evening walk. But it did bring the misery to a close.

Old Enough!, in which a documentary crew follows around toddlers doing errands in Japan. Don’t worry, they have yellow flags to wave when they need to cross major intersections. Also, Simon and I started Bear about a chef who comes back to run the family’s sandwich shop after a tragic death in the family. There’s lots of shouting which feels intense, so maybe don’t watch it with chips or you won’t remember eating them.

Emails from Ducks Unlimited Canada. One day I decided to sign up for an Ontario wetland conservation newsletter and it confuses me whenever it comes into my inbox. Ducks??? What the hell? And then I remember that I am the maker of my own destiny.

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