Observables #16

on cat longings, Deborah Levy and the moment of the self-blur

WHAT I’M WATCHING:

This portrait…which I call Longing.

And a new film, Bergman Island, about a woman trying to wrestle with writing a body of work as a mother. I’m ever engaged with such wrestling so this one is on my list. Will report back post-match :)

WHAT I’M LISTENING TO:

A succinct conversation that gives me hope for all the ladies:

Violet: “Would you rather have a car the size of a speck of dust or one that was as big as a forest? Orrrrrr one that goes as slow as a blur or so fast you can’t even see it? Around the world a hundred times in one minute.”

Elsie is immediately skeptical.

Elsie: “I don’t know how something can be as slow as a blur. That sounds super fast.”

Violet: “This is a different type of slow.”

Elsie: “I don’t get it.”

Violet: “You don’t have to,” she says without missing a beat. Eight will go down as the sassy age in which Violet gained the confidence to throw words back at her sister.

WHAT I’M READING:

Deborah Levy’s Real Estate—a delicately told “living autobiography” whose female protagonist keeps stopping to consider if she could pitch the women she encounters to film executives as leading female characters. They’re rarely likeable, and always old. Ha!

I’m also rediscovering Yeats. My grandfather loved his poetry and could quote much of it by heart. I found this poem with a checkmark beside it.

My grandfather must have been telling me it was one of his favourites. I wish he were alive so I could quiz him on his favourite lines too! And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow stands out for me. Maybe because peace does come dropping slow in my life? But I’m finding my ways. After a good therapy session today where we determined that I need to 1) limit harmful exposure to things that trigger (aka social media) 2) offer myself more gentleness, I went and listened to this. It was a damn cathartic moment and for five minutes I was nicely blurred.

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Sister On! keeps on with Episode 11. Nat and I do a reframing experiment by surprising each other with questions to reframe on the spot! We felt pretty victorious by the end with our reframing prowess. Tell us if you agree!