Observables #10

on the end of my Mac and the end of the world

It’s been a week and I considered not writing an Observables at all. Because when your computer crashes and the novel that you were “letting percolate” is trapped in there and not backed up, and for the moment appears unrecoverable (we’re getting a second opinion), and Covid is still here and nine thousand migrants are under a bridge… one is tempted to think that it’s all a little hopeless. And how can a newsletter about one little life make a difference? And in one way it’s true, it doesn’t. But in another way, it also does. A lot. Life. Breath. Searching. Feeling. God. All the big and small things of said little life.

I am encouraged by this statement from a “craft talk” I read this week: “[M]aking art of any kind is an act of optimism. To make art is to traffic in beliefs. The belief that you have something to say, that it’s important to say it. And also the belief that someone specific might want to witness it in some way and gain something from it.”

So onward to trafficking in belief! I will continue to string words together AND walk my ass over to the polling station when civic duty calls AND look for blue jays AND even be mystified by the random cheese croissant container that fell from the sky and landed in my backyard. Whaaaa? Staying curious.

Equipoise, by my colleague and good friend Katie Zdybel! It’s her first book of short stories! We did our MFAs together and she will be guesting on Observables next week. She writes the best descriptions like “lemony light” and “it is a moment in sepia - that golden brown, overexposed light that belongs to rural Ontario in August, belongs to honey and wheat and corn.” If you love short stories, Ontario topography and lemony light, you will love her book!

Three intense movies that were playing as part of TIFF, including Scarborough, all which reminded me of the power of film to crack open our worlds that threaten to get too small. I also watched two episodes of Scenes from a Marriage—very heavy—and then countered with a Ted Lasso and this off-kilter animated kids series Centaurworld. It’s all about emotional balance :)

This loose fitting black dress, which is cosy and keeps me free of those high-waisted jeans stomach pains. (All you high-waisted jean wearers know what I mean.)

Sometimes I add my fanny pack to my black dress to create a more complete ensemble. Violet and Elsie both have strong opinions about the best way to wear it.

Real life conversation that took place in this dress, on our way to a violin lesson. Violet was wearing blue pants, also with a lot of stretch (so we were both at ease):

“Remember when you were shovelling dirt and you said it made you think you were playing with poo? That was funny. Also, remember when you stopped our show to cut us some cucumber because you really wanted us to eat veggies? It was pretty random.”

I steer her away from the prickly bush, “It seemed urgent at the time.”

“You’re funny.”

“Sometimes I am. Hey, I liked it when you said that if you shoved a cloud in a jar that could make you famous.”

She giggles at her own brilliance, and I let myself giggle at mine (I made her after all!). For a few moments together I can’t remember why life is ever hard.

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As always, our podcast comes out on Wednesday. This week we interview Craig from Craig’s Cookies, my friend from theatre school and a remarkable entrepreneur. If you are liking the podcast (and people tell us they are!), don’t forget to subscribe!

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