An accounting

I took a break from writing because I was frantically writing other things. Now I want to come back but I don’t remember how to begin. I can’t find the tone. Am I different? You must be too! At the very least our red blood cells have changed over! That takes 120 days if you were wondering.

Do you still even want to read this? Maybe you’ve found other platforms. X? Letterboxed? ChatGPT? There are so many new things to keep you busy since my last post in June. Or maybe you’ve given up on Substacks altogether because, like me, you somehow ended up signing up for a hundred and now you get twenty notifications a day, and you can’t possibly keep up unless you stopped having a job and people to care for and just read newsletters.

The Bear.

My mom, dad, sister and me all lined up on the downstairs couch at the farm to watch the last three episodes of Season 2 at full volume while the kids and the husbands played Ticket To Ride upstairs. It’s too heavy for the husbands, or maybe we didn’t invite them. Maybe we wanted to watch as the original 4. I can’t remember.

My parents are immediately bored. They have their own shows they like better. The Bear is so dialogue heavy. And they keep stopping to make braised beef.

Me on the other hand, I can’t get enough of Jamie Lee Curtis showing all her wrinkles and “ugly” emotions. She’s an emoting beast. She drives her car into the house.

Nat loves the braised beef. She's going to join the crew making all the food in The Bear, starting with a boursin omelette. Here’s what you need: butter. And then more butter.

Daughter, by Claudia Dey about a toxic relationship between a father and his daughters. She said she was going for velocity. I feel it. It’s reminiscent of the The Bear and I’m reading it with the same dear God energy. A dad like that—that’s a lot for poor Mona.

To counter, I’m touching base with Judson Brewer’s Unwinding Anxiety.

For the second time. Because once isn’t enough when it comes to anxiety. Once was just for seeing myself in the book. Two is for remembering what to do about it. (Hint: You’re supposed to get curious about your feelings.)

What do I feel? A touch of something in my lower gut. Hm…is that excitement or anxiety? I examine those feelings with curiosity.

There. That’s how you do it.

These flats from Vivaia.

Very comfy and they send me so many “checking in” emails, I’m feeling TIGHT with them and ready to buy another pair just to keep up the dialogue. It’s so wonderful to have friends.