a list that's not about grief
My Christmas sweater.
One of my favourite moments over Christmas was my shopping with my mom. She’s just a fun person. She says interesting things in ways you wouldn’t expect. Whenever we go to the mall I think about how her mother prayed for parking spots. My mom doesn’t do that with me. Or if she does, she keeps it to herself.
Simon told me that one time he was on a work trip and the only rental car his colleague could get was a comically massive Ford pickup truck. Not the ideal vehicle for tight hospital parking lots. When they got back after their visit, someone had blocked them in by parking outside of the painted lines. The only way out was to jump the sidewalk. Simon directed from outside as his colleague went full off roading mode over the curb. At least one benefit of having a monster truck. I bet they were both praying in that moment.
Back to my mother. During our Christmas shopping trips she always gets anxious that we won’t find anything, but I know that won’t be a problem for me. Shopping comes easy. Like my grief. When my grandma used to take me shopping I would always try to stretch my limit. If she said the limit was $250, I went for $270. What does that say about me?
You might remember my list of things I’ve lost. Here’s my counter. A list of things I’ve gained:
A fireplace heater. If you live in a draughty place like mine, I highly recommend this handy device to make you feel cosy.
My nephew’s art. He made us each a personalized monster painting for Christmas. Mine symbolizes “whimsy.”
My nighttime rituals. “I love you.” “I love you.” “I love you.” A ripple of I love yous up and down the stairs for as long as we feel like it. Up to twenty. It’s excessive.
This Oven-Roasted Chicken Shawarma recipe. I tell you it’s restaurant food in your own kitchen.
A quote from An Interrupted Life by Etty Hellisum—a book that sits on my desk as a harbinger to the play I started to write about her but never finished.
“Ultimately, we have just one moral duty: to reclaim large areas of peace in ourselves, more and more peace and to reflect it toward others.”
The short film The After. Have you seen it? It’s very powerful. I have a hankering to make a short film right now and this reminded me how powerful the medium can be. You don’t always need two hours.
I asked my lovely friend Yaël what she was consuming lately. She’s a romcom writer who lives in Germany. She leads with optimism.
Pride and Prejudice.
“Jane Austen was the perfect RomCom writer of her time. If she were alive today, I imagine her writing romantic films and series. Her wit and observations of the people around her are made without criticism or judgment, even of her unlikable characters. Instead she suffocates them with bitingly precise language. A master of clever dialogue, she is a true inspiration for my own writing. I wish I could have a tea with her or roam the English countryside with her by my side. She would have been a great companion and friend, I imagine.”
Watching?
“Flora and Son by John Carney, the writer and director of Once. It’s the perfect combination of RomCom and family drama, and I think it is a must for everyone who loves these genres. I was lucky enough to see the film in a New York cinema where I was brought a delicious pizza to my seat, so the film has an even more special place in my heart and it will forever be linked to my first time experiencing New York by myself.
The title Flora and Son is as direct as it is perfect in its simplicity—just like Jeff who tells Flora that the beauty of song lyrics lie in the balance between their directness but without spelling out the message. (They have a very funny discussion about James Blunt’s song “You’re beautiful.”) Overall, I fell in love with the interactions between the two leads, but also with Flora’s swearing, the banter she has with her son Max and music that brings them together.”
Listening to?
“The soundtrack to Flora and Son on repeat. Flora and her son singing/rapping Dublin 07 together completely and utterly manages to captivate me and get me in a good mood. I also love the fact that when I am listening to the songs, I can feel all the emotions (happiness, sadness, being touched) I had when watching the film, and see all the images again in my mind.”
Thanks Yaël for your take on the Observables formula :)